hate it when i say something and not do it...
which is exactly what's up wif this blog man...closed my last one, decided it was the wrg move, came up wif this new one, and the min i got busy - no entry for 2 mths...
but anywayz, its exam period at last and the yr is winding to a close...not much to do cept marking hell, so i do wanna pen down stuff a lil bit more, however random, and not let this place die a quick death
last week i was a tad emo (just a tad) by the fact dat my time wif my sec 4 na kids are officially over...they've given this new teacher hell on so many occasions but im still gonna miss them man....they're havin their N levels now already...all the best to them...
segment of my co-form class's grad video thankin me and the form teacher...so sweet!!
IIlusion - November 2000 ; Reality - July 2012 : adieu 32/99?
over the past 18mths, i have grown to love this class to bits...to the extent that i actually genuinely look forward to goin to school ...sad then dat its all comin to an end with the end of our A Levels...
ironically, I would have never expected this at the start of our time together...i was still alot closer to my orientation group -zoukas...we had a ball of a time since the very first day of school.....and this class had some erm interesting characters to say the least....this dude from my secondary sch who's like terrorizing all the girls in the class till they're frightened to death....this guy who looks like a drug addict and doesn seem to speak much...bunch of cedar girls who're way too noisy - and this is comin from someone who likes cedarians...a fatso loudmouth with jokes dat no one laffs at...this girl who's my pal from 1st 3 mths but i got a feeling she thinks i like her and dats potentially problematic...
18 mths later...the pervy guy and the drug addict and a few other guys are among my best frens, i love the noisy cedar gals, the guai ones are entertaining as well....everything was perfect, cept the loudmouth was supremely outcasted and the girl who thinks i like her made my life a living hell at times with her reactions...but yea by and large, fantastic...endless nonsense and crap and teasing and slacking and all things fun
at the crossroads now arent we...same questions that were asked in pri 6 and sec 4 - are we gonna stay in touch? is this gam-ness and bonds forged transient and temporary, to be left behind as we move on with our lives?
onli time will tell....
ironically, I would have never expected this at the start of our time together...i was still alot closer to my orientation group -zoukas...we had a ball of a time since the very first day of school.....and this class had some erm interesting characters to say the least....this dude from my secondary sch who's like terrorizing all the girls in the class till they're frightened to death....this guy who looks like a drug addict and doesn seem to speak much...bunch of cedar girls who're way too noisy - and this is comin from someone who likes cedarians...a fatso loudmouth with jokes dat no one laffs at...this girl who's my pal from 1st 3 mths but i got a feeling she thinks i like her and dats potentially problematic...
18 mths later...the pervy guy and the drug addict and a few other guys are among my best frens, i love the noisy cedar gals, the guai ones are entertaining as well....everything was perfect, cept the loudmouth was supremely outcasted and the girl who thinks i like her made my life a living hell at times with her reactions...but yea by and large, fantastic...endless nonsense and crap and teasing and slacking and all things fun
at the crossroads now arent we...same questions that were asked in pri 6 and sec 4 - are we gonna stay in touch? is this gam-ness and bonds forged transient and temporary, to be left behind as we move on with our lives?
onli time will tell....
Illusion - July 2010 ; Reality - July 2010 : desist delusion
ive always felt that reality is slightly tilted towards pessimism rather than optimism...the world doesnt revolve around me, so the stars are hardly gonna align themselves for me too often
delusions obviously have no place when one wants to face reality...false facts that are resistant to reason and actual fact...
everyone has some delusions...some more some less....they provide a welcome distraction, some hope when u lack motivation, makes u think that 3 steps later is gonna be just fine (when its not) so that u are more likely to at least take the 1st and 2nd step....ive been reliant on delusions all my life....things that were never likely to happen but while i wasnt 100% sure, dreaming abt it sure gave me a lift...
i was a pro footballer, a pro wrestler...a celeb?!....i got the girl im not supposed to get! ...im the perfect teacher...i never disappt my frens...never made a mistake....never got embarrassed...
the concept of HH is a gimmick almost...given my perpetual facade over many matters, never emo, over-rational, couldnt care less and treating life as way too simple...peeling away the layers of the gimmick leaves behind a constant grappling between delusions and reality and there never is truly a clear winner....i dun want a clear winner usually anyway, life sucks when its all black and white...
so, im hardly a delusional person...im too much of a realist if anything...but for the next few weeks, i need a clear winner...without a shadow of a doubt, without a tinge of ambiguity....
a clear clear winner....
i need reality to guide me in every move n in every thought and to remove delusion absolutely...
or i shall be in trouble...
the battle has begun...
delusions obviously have no place when one wants to face reality...false facts that are resistant to reason and actual fact...
everyone has some delusions...some more some less....they provide a welcome distraction, some hope when u lack motivation, makes u think that 3 steps later is gonna be just fine (when its not) so that u are more likely to at least take the 1st and 2nd step....ive been reliant on delusions all my life....things that were never likely to happen but while i wasnt 100% sure, dreaming abt it sure gave me a lift...
i was a pro footballer, a pro wrestler...a celeb?!....i got the girl im not supposed to get! ...im the perfect teacher...i never disappt my frens...never made a mistake....never got embarrassed...
the concept of HH is a gimmick almost...given my perpetual facade over many matters, never emo, over-rational, couldnt care less and treating life as way too simple...peeling away the layers of the gimmick leaves behind a constant grappling between delusions and reality and there never is truly a clear winner....i dun want a clear winner usually anyway, life sucks when its all black and white...
so, im hardly a delusional person...im too much of a realist if anything...but for the next few weeks, i need a clear winner...without a shadow of a doubt, without a tinge of ambiguity....
a clear clear winner....
i need reality to guide me in every move n in every thought and to remove delusion absolutely...
or i shall be in trouble...
the battle has begun...
Illusion - Aug 2012 ; Reality - June 2010 : moe dog unleashed
(note from the present - my colleague, on her 1st official day of work was telling me she wished the bond would end soon, she probably din have a very enjoyable practicum in our sch...like it or not though, its gonna be 3 yrs man, unless u pay up...but i was telling her to give it a shot and things realli arent THAT bad...we'll see how the cookie crumbles)
time flies...i remember the apprehension i felt on my 1st day stepping into a class of 40 students waiting to gobble this newbie teacher up...and all of the sudden, ive completed my bond
COMPLETED MY BOND!!
yes...i can choose to walk away from all this admin hell, 16hr days and bureaucratic nonsense and not have to pay 1 single cent...bear in mind of course at the peak of my liability, i had to pay a 6 digit sum had i quit...
decisions decisions decisions? well not quite....the bond might be over but im not walking away just yet...its good to noe that i can if i want to though...
i still love my kids, its amazing watching them grow up...the sec 1s i took when i first started, those blur and tiny jokers, are now in sec 4, some even taller than me, and more savvy than me in so many areas (cept sports and their academic results of course)
and it sortsa gets easier as u get more experienced...steep learning curve for the 1st couple of years to be honest, im not one who was "born to teach", and ive had to grit my teeth and really get into things, learn from mistakes, build my teaching and content knowledge as i go along...
wish all the other shit in teaching would just go away...we wanna teach, just let us teach!!!
screw the awards, screw the inter-sch rat race...
hope in a couple of years, my resolve remains...
time flies...i remember the apprehension i felt on my 1st day stepping into a class of 40 students waiting to gobble this newbie teacher up...and all of the sudden, ive completed my bond
COMPLETED MY BOND!!
yes...i can choose to walk away from all this admin hell, 16hr days and bureaucratic nonsense and not have to pay 1 single cent...bear in mind of course at the peak of my liability, i had to pay a 6 digit sum had i quit...
decisions decisions decisions? well not quite....the bond might be over but im not walking away just yet...its good to noe that i can if i want to though...
i still love my kids, its amazing watching them grow up...the sec 1s i took when i first started, those blur and tiny jokers, are now in sec 4, some even taller than me, and more savvy than me in so many areas (cept sports and their academic results of course)
and it sortsa gets easier as u get more experienced...steep learning curve for the 1st couple of years to be honest, im not one who was "born to teach", and ive had to grit my teeth and really get into things, learn from mistakes, build my teaching and content knowledge as i go along...
wish all the other shit in teaching would just go away...we wanna teach, just let us teach!!!
screw the awards, screw the inter-sch rat race...
hope in a couple of years, my resolve remains...
Illusion - June 1996 ; Reality - June 2010 : ngee ann citizen
(note from the present: does anyone of u remember the garfield shop opposite popular bookstore at orchard mrt station? it used to be my fave place to meet ppl in orchard...station control area was always way too crowded...for all the times i spent hanging around outside it, browsing ard in it, i never ever bought 1 single thing from the place...they got rid of it quite a few yrs ago...just got reminded of it since im talkin about orchard rd...and speakin of orchard road, t'was quite the flood there while i was in HK it seems, just checked out the stomp vids n pics earlier...wish i was there man...)
many of my frens prefer to be "fast east kids"...far east is fine...cool shops, plenty of pretty ah lians to look at (of course together with their chao ah beng with their bright coloured top, alien workshop jeans, and ah beng comb stickin outta their pocket) and food dats cheap yet delicious, and like the only place in singapore i noe that u can find a turkish ice-cream man to make an idiot outta u...its also just across the road from tower records [1], which i adore to death...i dont do cassettes anymore by the way....CDs rule...
but i am not a "fast east kid"
on days that i dont spend playing footie till 7pm in sch before climbing over the conveniently low catholic high wall n heading home, u will find me in taka...dat's short for takashimaya...whh is the anchor tenant but usually used to describe the entire ngee ann city...
taka's like the newest, coolest shopping centre in town man and it has quickly turned into my hangout of choice...its huge, fantastic variety of shops, loads of food...and the best part of it?
taka sq of course...
yes, the square, the place beside times square restaurant[2] - lovely fries - and the huge television screen and they usually have some event or fair or sales
im pretty sure it wasnt meant to serve this purpose but over the last couple of years, us students have really colonized the place, havent we? the shows and sales change every week, sometimes there are none at all but all around the square. every single day, u will always see the students, seated in their own little cliques, occupying random spots along the perimeter of the square....sometimes differentiated clearly by our uniforms....rgs, cat high, scgs, ri, sji, marists, ac, cedar, ny...sometimes encompassing a variety of uniforms...
the guards sometimes give us trouble if we're too noisy or if the group's so big it obstructs the walkway but by n large they leave us alone...passively accepting that this is our place....teens are no longer restricted to far east plaza for a sense of place
so im here like every week...chomping down on unhealthy food, indulging in idle chatter, checkin out pretty girls, instead of doin my homework or being a model son...
say "heyo" if u're a taka kid too!
------------------------------------------------------
[1] Tower Records -1st major music store in Singapore, opening its flagship store in pacific plaza in 1993...this was many years before the likes of hmv and borders entered the market and also when the internet was just finding its way into singapore and thus a long time before online digital music was a viable option. highly popular among music lovers of all ages with its selection of cds and magazines. the rise of these competitors though has led to its demise in 2006...
[2] Times Square Restaurant - western food joint dat initially occupied the area where crystal jade now sits beside taka sq...
many of my frens prefer to be "fast east kids"...far east is fine...cool shops, plenty of pretty ah lians to look at (of course together with their chao ah beng with their bright coloured top, alien workshop jeans, and ah beng comb stickin outta their pocket) and food dats cheap yet delicious, and like the only place in singapore i noe that u can find a turkish ice-cream man to make an idiot outta u...its also just across the road from tower records [1], which i adore to death...i dont do cassettes anymore by the way....CDs rule...
but i am not a "fast east kid"
on days that i dont spend playing footie till 7pm in sch before climbing over the conveniently low catholic high wall n heading home, u will find me in taka...dat's short for takashimaya...whh is the anchor tenant but usually used to describe the entire ngee ann city...
taka's like the newest, coolest shopping centre in town man and it has quickly turned into my hangout of choice...its huge, fantastic variety of shops, loads of food...and the best part of it?
taka sq of course...
yes, the square, the place beside times square restaurant[2] - lovely fries - and the huge television screen and they usually have some event or fair or sales
im pretty sure it wasnt meant to serve this purpose but over the last couple of years, us students have really colonized the place, havent we? the shows and sales change every week, sometimes there are none at all but all around the square. every single day, u will always see the students, seated in their own little cliques, occupying random spots along the perimeter of the square....sometimes differentiated clearly by our uniforms....rgs, cat high, scgs, ri, sji, marists, ac, cedar, ny...sometimes encompassing a variety of uniforms...
the guards sometimes give us trouble if we're too noisy or if the group's so big it obstructs the walkway but by n large they leave us alone...passively accepting that this is our place....teens are no longer restricted to far east plaza for a sense of place
so im here like every week...chomping down on unhealthy food, indulging in idle chatter, checkin out pretty girls, instead of doin my homework or being a model son...
say "heyo" if u're a taka kid too!
------------------------------------------------------
[1] Tower Records -1st major music store in Singapore, opening its flagship store in pacific plaza in 1993...this was many years before the likes of hmv and borders entered the market and also when the internet was just finding its way into singapore and thus a long time before online digital music was a viable option. highly popular among music lovers of all ages with its selection of cds and magazines. the rise of these competitors though has led to its demise in 2006...
[2] Times Square Restaurant - western food joint dat initially occupied the area where crystal jade now sits beside taka sq...
Illusion - June 2010 ; Reality - June 2010 : the next evolution of illusions
just when u thot when there was that much less crap in cyberspace, look who's back to say wat the fish?!
you: who???
hh: me...what the fish?!
so...over 5 mths wifout a blog, why oh why am i back? allow me to explain...
during my reservist this past march, my officer suddenly gathered me and my platoonmates...said he found some stuff while moving house...and handed us each a piece of yellowish, dirty writing paper...
and holy crap it was an essay he wanted us to write in 2001 when we first arrived in our infantry unit about how we felt...it was weird, hilarious, nostalgic all at the same time to read what we ourselves wrote when we were not only young, but down in the dumps about being posted to a unit that was famous/notorious for being damn xiong...i was a tad surprised about how brutally honest i was actually considering i knew he was supposed to read what we wrote...
this got me thinking to the then-recent closure of quintessential illusions @ xanga...and reminded me of why i like to blog to begin with -- it's mad fun to read old entries many years later...
the reasons y i closed the xanga remained though so i decided to wait till the june holidays, when i would have a little more time on my hands and perhaps a little more motivation to come up with something a little different...
and here i am...
this blog will not onli chronicle my struggles of today (cuz they invariably revolve around my work cuz im nothing but an moe dog nowadays) but delve into the depths of my past...and look into the endless possibilities of the future...
on the other paw, the occasional pieces of crap, constant usage of internet english and football rants will likely stick ard...
y?
cuz dats just the kinda guy i am man (did i mention dat the hh-catchphrases remain?)
you: who???
hh: me...what the fish?!
so...over 5 mths wifout a blog, why oh why am i back? allow me to explain...
during my reservist this past march, my officer suddenly gathered me and my platoonmates...said he found some stuff while moving house...and handed us each a piece of yellowish, dirty writing paper...
and holy crap it was an essay he wanted us to write in 2001 when we first arrived in our infantry unit about how we felt...it was weird, hilarious, nostalgic all at the same time to read what we ourselves wrote when we were not only young, but down in the dumps about being posted to a unit that was famous/notorious for being damn xiong...i was a tad surprised about how brutally honest i was actually considering i knew he was supposed to read what we wrote...
this got me thinking to the then-recent closure of quintessential illusions @ xanga...and reminded me of why i like to blog to begin with -- it's mad fun to read old entries many years later...
the reasons y i closed the xanga remained though so i decided to wait till the june holidays, when i would have a little more time on my hands and perhaps a little more motivation to come up with something a little different...
and here i am...
this blog will not onli chronicle my struggles of today (cuz they invariably revolve around my work cuz im nothing but an moe dog nowadays) but delve into the depths of my past...and look into the endless possibilities of the future...
on the other paw, the occasional pieces of crap, constant usage of internet english and football rants will likely stick ard...
y?
cuz dats just the kinda guy i am man (did i mention dat the hh-catchphrases remain?)
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